A Survey- Participate If You Like :)

For my 26th year of life, I decided to learn to think. As odd as it sounds, I believe it is very easy (and perhaps even the norm) to make it to 26 (or for an entire lifetime) without really learning to think for yourself and I am not happy to simply exist on the "truths" of other people. I have thought about a lot this year (please forgive me for being a blog slacker, thinking makes me tired- hehe), but nothing has rattled me to my core quite like thinking about my faith.

I have called myself a Christian for quite some time, realizing full well that by identifying with a group I am allowing myself to be identified with the individuals in that group. I was ok with this idea for 15 years or so. But this year I began to consider who I was identifying with (I should stop here to give another shout out to Shane Claiborne's amazing book THE IRRISISTABLE REVOLUTION because I really believe it changed my life) and what their actions (or lack thereof) might be saying about me. 

Here is a brief look at my journey into this question (we're getting to the survey part- be patient!):

Q. What is a Christian?

A. A follower of Jesus Christ (I like to keep things really simple when talking to myself)

Q. What would a follower of Jesus Christ look like? (not what color would their hair be, but what would a life devoted to following Christ look like)

A. A follower would strive to emulate the life and love exhibited by Christ while He was on earth (ok ok, my REAL answer to myself was "He would wanna be like Jesus"- don't judge me!)

Q. So what did Christ DO?

A. As far as I can tell, He loved A LOT. He gave all He had to help meet the needs of people in His community, both physically and spiritually. He touched people who were considered untouchable and He loved people who were considered unlovable.

Q. So, let's try this again- what would a Christian look like?

A. 

I didn't want to answer the question because I knew I wasn't measuring up. Not only that, but I couldn't think of a single person who I could point to and say "THAT is how Christ would be living!" 

And that makes me very sad.

So I'm looking- for a church, a group, or just a few people who give a damn. And it's frustrating.

What is even more frustrating is that the song "My Jesus" by Todd Agnew keeps popping up on my ipod and it is pretty much the theme song for this journey. Here's the video:

So this is the survey- I want to know what you guys think about this. 

Do you know Christians who you feel are being Christ in the 

community? 

Do you think I'm being too critical? 

Anybody having a similar frustration? 

Wanna recommend a medication that will keep me from playing Q&A games with myself? 

I don't need answers, but I would enjoy hearing your opinions :)

THINK!

In 6 days I will be voting for Obama. I am not voting for him because he is better dressed (he is) or better looking (that too) or a better speaker (anybody gonna argue with that?) than his Republican counterpart. I am voting for Obama because I have listened to both candidates speak about how they plan to make my country better and I have read each candidates views on issues that matter to me and THEN I decided that my views more closely lined up with Obama's.

If you went through a similar process and decided to vote for another candidate, I completely respect that and I am so grateful that we live in a country where we are free to make our own decisions.

Tonight my soap box is not McCain vs. Obama. My soap box is that so many people fought so hard for us to have the RIGHT to vote for either candidate we choose and I feel that most of us aren't taking our vote seriously.

I asked a coworker if she watched the first presidential debate and she told me that she didn't need to watch the debate because she already knew who she was voting for. "Without knowing where the candidates stand on the issues?" I asked. "Yup!" she answered proudly.

You may be laughing, but the sad fact is that i know MANY people who vote this way (though most of them aren't dumb enough to brag about it) and it makes me sick! 

Just today I was considering early voting and I realized that I don't know how to vote on the offices besides president. I spent an hour searching for a website that could break down the issues and tell me each candidate's position, but I came up with nothing. Knowing that many of my coworkers have already voted, I began asking if they could recommend an informational site and was frustrated beyond belief to find that almost nobody could find one. When I questioned how they knew who to vote for for County Soil and Water Representative, I got answers like this:

"I just left them blank."

"I just went thru and marked some names."

"I voted straight ticket." (While I realize that this may be what many of you do, this is my blog and I am exercising my right to free speech to tell you that is dumb- but I still love you!)

Not a single person said they read up on the candidates and made informed decisions on who they believe will best lead our state and our counties.

And that makes me very sad.

But I know a lot of you (myself included) have not voted and I hope to encourage some old school THINKING in this last election week, so I would like to share with you the website I FINALLY found that breaks down the platform of every nominee on the ballot. 

http://www.indyweek.com/gyrobase/Section?oid=oid%3A33533&category=oid%3A160812

They are listed in alphabetical order, so it is helpful to have a sample ballot handy. You can find one by simply googling "Durham (or insert your county of choice) County NC Sample Ballot".

So I encourage you all to vote on or before next Tuesday, but more than that, I encourage you all to THINK!

happy things

this is one of my new favorite songs by my new favorite singer and somebody made a killer music video for it- i hope it makes you as happy as it makes me!

a rant

in searching online for a t-shirt last weekend, i ran across a shirt that read "The only difference between tattooed people and non-tattooed people is that tattooed people don't give a shit that you don't have tattoos" I chuckled but i knew immediately that i had no interest in the shirt because it would make me look like an asshole. what kind of egotistical jerk thinks that people actually CARE if she colors her skin?

about 5 days after discovering that t-shirt, i went in for my seventh tattoo. it was then that i began to see that the creator of the shirt might be on to something...

i want to be very clear about this- i love talking about my tattoos. i love planning them, preparing for them, getting them, and taking care of them so that the best possible piece of art is left on my skin. i dont mind when people ask to see them, want to know what they mean and why i got them, or even say things like "so are you just gonna cover your body in tattoos?"

the answer is yes :)

I'm not sure why this particular tattoo has made such waves. i can only guess that it could be the size and colorfulness of it, the fact that i posted disgusting pics that are normally reserved for freaking out my mom when the piece is healed, or maybe just that facebook and myspace make it so darn easy to wander into one another's lives that we feel we have a right to pass judgement on our "friends".

wellllllllllll ya don't...

i doubt that any of the people who inspired this rant even bother to look at my blog (that would be dangerously close to getting to know me instead of just talking shit behind my back), but just in case any of them stumble on here, i have a message:

I am a well-educated, 26 year old ADULT. the United States of America thinks i am capable of casting a vote for the next President, giving myself lung cancer, drinking until i pass out, and renting a car :) i have spent countless hours researching tattoos and how to be as safe as possible when getting them. i put a lot of thought and planning into each tattoo i get. i realize that my body will change and my tattoos will look different. NEWSFLASH: your body will also change (in fact it's changing right now- put down the cheeseburger!), but my fat will be pretty and colorful! 

in conclusion- i am very happy with who i am and my tattoos don't change that. i don't get them for anybody but myself. if you like them, i would love to hear that. if you hate them, you are welcome to your opinion and you can tell me all about it if it makes you feel better. but talking to other people about what i do with my body just makes you look silly and sad.

my wish for you is that the rest of your week will be so full of happiness that you don't have time to create drama over a flower that i got to honor my father.

and to my actual friends who know this post wasn't aimed at you, thank you for accepting me with varying amounts of color and metal- ill be needing more tattoo buddies soon ;-)

Earning my big girl badge

I hate politics.
I have always felt that politics accomplished little more than pitting well-meaning and rational people against one another over issues that may not be earth shattering concerns. And political commercials are possibly the most horrible form of entertainment since Jerry Springer and often sound like grown-ups shouting "You're a poopy head!" and "Uh-uh, you're a booger eater!"
Yes, please let these people run my country...
But as I'm getting older (and just in case I was unsure about that, I am currently laying in bed with a heating pad wrapped around my suddenly arthritic knee) I am realizing that there is little chance that I will escape these political poopy heads (unless i can spear wild monkeys and learn a nice rain dance- and even then the man with the most wives is elected leader, so I'm still at the bottom of the food chain) so I might as well embrace the fact that politics will be shoved down my throat for the next month.
And that is why, dear friends, I am currently watching the Vice Presidential debate!
I will accept pats on the back tomorrow when I'm not naked- goodnight!

Joke's not funny

sometimes i think God kinda messes with me. like if i have a generally bad day, it is not uncommon for something actually bad to happen to put things into perspective and remind me to stop feeling sorry for myself. and today has not been the greatest day. and i have participated in my fair share of pity parties today. but as i sat on my bed uploading pictures from the weekend with patrick curled up beside me, i could not have imagined that God's next joke would come crawling out from under my sheets and send my already neurotic dog into full-blown fits.
Pat and i got the message- and im pretty sure we're not sleeping tonight :-/

Why autism chose me

If you have known me for any length of time you know that most of my life lessons come in the form of an 11-year-old boy with autism. Last weekend's lesson was about living in the details.



Eric was doing such a good job of passing the ball at soccer practice on Saturday that one of the fathers suggested he work on stopping the ball under his foot before kicking it. The request seemed simple enough, so i told Eric "Put your foot on the ball to stop it."
He looked at me like i was speaking Chinese (not an uncommon look from him) and then propped his heel up on the stationary soccer ball.
Well he almost got it. So i tell him "No, no, like this." and place the sole of my shoe on top of the ball. He immediately places his foot next to mine and i squeal with excitement that he mastered this skill so quickly.
"Now kick the ball back to Richard." I tell him.
He looks confused for a second and then, without ever taking his foot off the top of the ball, pushes it toward his partner.
So we tried again.
"Put your foot back on the ball. Good job! Now take your foot off the ball. Excellent! Now kick the ball to Richard."
When he kicked the ball sideways and nearly fell down, i realized that while he took his foot off the ball (just like i asked), he didn't actually put his foot back on the ground to support his weight and had been balancing on one foot.
We went through the entire drill again and when i told him to take his foot off the ball, i emphasized putting his foot back on the ground and standing on it. The blank look told me that this wasnt working so i got creative.
"Like this buddy!" and i jumped from foot to foot doing something of a hybrid between Riverdance and a Mexican hat dance. He copied me. Then he kicked the ball perfectly. And he stopped the ball, planted his foot, and kicked it every time after that.
Since saturday i have thought a lot about that interaction and what working with autism means to me. I have always been a very fast-paced person- i walk fast, i talk fast, and i think fast. But living fast doesnt exactly lend itself to being good with details. I like big pictures and outcomes and when i am taking in a panoramic view of the park, Eric is touching and smelling and, yes sometimes tasting, one leaf or one rock. And this is when Eric teaches me the most because sometimes the leaf or rock he chooses is the most beautiful of them all and i would have missed it. And if he kicked the soccer ball like most kids, we would have missed the chance to dance :)